The pressure to keep up with the lil' Joneses

If you are a parent, you can probably relate to what follows...no matter what side you are on!

We walked to school yesterday, all three of us -daughter, son and I.  To be most accurate, I walked while they raced along on their scooters, constantly setting new finishing lines.  This is a common game amongst them usually beginning with a line like, "first one to the light pole," and ending with one of them crying because they lost the race and the race was "no fair."  The tears and feelings of being duped soon disappear as the next finishing line is created and the race begins again.  Along the way I noticed my son neighing and pointing what appeared to be a fake spear in the air.  When I asked him what he was doing he told me he was one of those half-man-half-horse-Greek-guys and was rushing off to attack the baddies.  This then lead on to discussions about Poseidon, his trident, Hercules, and a Griffin from Hairy Potter, all in the matter of about 30 seconds.

As he galloped off again, a Centaur on in his latest battle to save Narnia, I was content in the knowledge that my son was happy and curious and innocent.  Reality slapped me in the face at about 8:57 a.m. when we arrived at the school.  At this exact moment, when my son was entering the classroom through a forest of tiny kids and lurking "oh-can-I-speak-to-you-teacher"-parents, I heard the following phrase leave the teacher's mouth as she talked to an over concerned mother:  "In two weeks they will be doing their writing tests which will determine what group they enter in to next year."  At this point I will pause to explain to those of you who are not familiar with this concept - apologies to those who already know and hate this as much as me and pity on those who think this is a great idea.

For those of you new to this parenting thing, or just reading this for the hell of it, at the tender age of 6, kids are tested on their reading, writing, and maths ability (at least in UK area where we live).  Based on these test, they are then positioned in differing cohorts, in the next year of school.  These different cohorts are then taught according to their perceived abilities.  As a parent this makes total sense to me.  As a parent this also sickens me to no end.

In a world where keeping up with the Joneses is important, even my son needs to worry about keeping up with their little'uns.  Or does he?  Really, is it him that feels he has to keep up with the little Joneses, or me who thinks he does?

I already know the answer.  He could care less.  It makes no difference to him what score he gets or what group he ends up in (as long as his mates are in it).  It is only me that is worried about this.  I am surrounded by the ubiquitous concept that keeping up with others is what is important in this life.  I don't like this.  I don't like that it happens, and I don't like that I feel I need to keep up with others.  I like even less that these feelings of mine are being transferred on to my sons little shoulders.

I must try to overcome these feelings.  I will not set my son extra evening tasks to ensure he fits in to the model of learning that will get him in the "achievers" cohort- trust me I know others do this (BARF).  What I will do is this: encourage him to learn the way he wants to and hope that he remains happy enough in school to make it through the next ten years of his life there (to some kids this must sound like a jail sentence- with remedial jail time at home). 

Good luck to the Joneses!